Are we getting really busy these days, or are we running from ourselves? Do we have a shortage of time, or do we escape from time? Do we lie to others, or do we lie to ourselves? Let’s go even deeper.
Escaping From Ourselves
When we get so busy, we crave rest. When we get plenty of rest, we find ourselves doing things here and there to stay busy—watching TV, cooking, playing with kids, engaging on social media, moving in and out of rooms without any reason, calling family and friends, cleaning, washing, repairing, and so on. We intentionally find some work; it’s good to be busy in some way anyway.
However, is it good to be constantly occupying ourself with work and overlooking what’s going on in our head?
Do we try to go deeper? Do we try to spend time with our feelings? Do we pay heed to what’s beneath there in our emotions?
It’s strange; we need everyone and everything but not ourselves.
Observing Thoughts at the Train Station of the Mind
Imagine yourself sitting at the train station, seeing trains pass one after the other. You are seated on a bench, observing them. Some trains move faster, while others go very slow. Some take longer than usual, and some are just not moving at all. You sit there, just observing them passing in front of your eyes. Our thoughts are exactly like these trains. During the day, plenty of thoughts come into your head, and your attention won’t stay with all of them. However, there may be some thoughts to which you pay more attention. That being said, nothing lasts forever. What seems bigger (worrisome) in your head now will appear small tomorrow, and new thoughts will take over. It’s indispensable, though, to observe closely what’s going on in your head.
This is only possible when you allow yourself to spend some time with yourself, even if you feel bored. Anna Lembke, an American psychiatrist, beautifully explains in her book “Dopamine Nation” that “Boredom is not just boring. It can also be terrifying. It forces us to come face-to-face with bigger questions of meaning and purpose. But boredom is also an opportunity for discovery and invention. It creates the space necessary for a new thought to form, without which we’re endlessly reacting to stimuli around us, rather than allowing ourselves to be within our lived experience.”
Gateways of Emotions
Our emotions are deep. Sometimes, they want to pop out. If they don’t find a proper direction and medium to come out, they mix up with other emotions and come out in insignificant matters with an unexpected tone. As a result, we either hurt someone or hurt ourself. We must have experienced this in our families: if a husband or wife comes home unhappy from work, they often misbehave with their spouse over some other very irrelevant, insignificant matters. They think one thing and express another. They exaggerate the situation, which could be resolved easily if they had talked to themselves first rather than the others.
It hardly matters how insignificant it may sound; write your thoughts down on a piece of paper, especially when they are bothering you. It’s like when your stomach is aching; you vomit, and you feel better. In the same way, writing all unpleasant feelings and emotions down is like vomiting the garbage of your head. You feel light-headed afterward.
Instead of hurting yourself or others through your own puzzled thoughts, consciously find a way to let them go.
Indeed, this can only be achieved when one doesn’t run away from themselves. Instead, they constantly reflect on what they often say to themselves, face their emotions, and consciously channelize them in a constructive manner.
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