“At the end of the day, aren’t we all just human beings? So why is it so important to label or identify someone by their life experiences? “
If it appears to you that everyone else’s day-to-day lives are better than yours, don’t be fooled. It may seem like the grass is greener on the other side, but only if you’re actually on that side of the fence can you know whether it’s a genuine green or a false green. Don’t imagine that everyone else is living a perfect life free of difficulties.
No matter what your relationship status is, married couples, bachelors, single moms, divorcees, or widows, we all have our own battles to fight. Different social identities may come with their own unique issues, but in the end, we all struggle in our own ways.
Who created these labels for us, anyway? Why do we have to assign ourselves a certain identity? Nothing in life ever changes as far as realistic roots are concerned. Have you ever witnessed a tree being referred to a different name when its leaves fall away for the autumn? Whether or not it is varnished with foliage, it’s still a tree. Why is this? Because nature does not differentiate from the outside appearance.
A flower is still a flower, no matter if it blooms in mucky soil or in a luxurious garden. A rose may consider itself more attractive than the lotus based on its color, shape, or bloom location, but, when looked at from a floral point of view, their beauty is equally worthy. Referring to a flower, there is no comparison, yet they have various characteristics that have them in conflict without realizing they are part of the same nature, flower!
In the same way, we are all a part of this nature. We are all made of the five elements – Earth (Dharti), Water (Jal), Fire (Agni), Air (Vaayu), and Sky (Aakash). Despite having the same element, unfortunately we tend to spend a lot of our time in comparison with others. Nowadays, it’s like everyone is fiercely competing to show off – ‘my car is bigger than yours’, ‘your house is smaller than mine’. We’re all busy trying to impress one another, yet we tend to overlook the fact that we’re all equal in the eyes of nature. There’s no distinction between us!
When we share a fundamental sameness at the level of nature, how do we become distinct when difficult situations arise?
Instead of labelling yourself as single mom, widow, or divorcee, why not just call yourself a mom and a woman? You are no different from any other mothers and women out there, so don’t feel the need to put yourself in any kind of category. A mom is mom, and a woman is woman in the end. Grasp the concept that you are no different than anyone else, and only when you start feeling that way, can the opinion of those around you begin to shift!
Believe that you are still just as beautiful and wonderful as ever—time may have passed, but that just means that you now have a unique set of experiences that make you even more special. Give yourself a good pep talk, “So far I have done a commendable job of handling myself, and I am sure I can do even better in the coming days. I realize that this was only one chapter of my life, not the entire book. I still have plenty of empty pages where I can write my own destiny – what I want to write, rather than having the circumstances dictate my story. I’m so grateful to God for standing by me in my time of need. He removed me from a situation that wasn’t right for me and I am certain that he has something wonderful in store for me, and furthermore that he will direct me throughout my life’s journey. Amen!”
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