Feeling overwhelmed? Learning how to cope with stress, uncertainty, and sad moods is essential

Don’t feel as though you’re on your own. Similar to how happiness doesn’t last forever, the sadness, pain, and worry we experience do not last either. Our lives are just like a rollercoaster, at times high and at times low. What we must remember is that after every dark night there is a bright, new morning. If you’re taking the time to peruse this blog, I’d bet that either you’re not feeling your best or you have an interest in finding out more. In any event, what matters most is that you have an eagerness to learn. Let’s get started!

Life is so hard to predict. Nobody is able to predict what will happen in the very next hour, let alone tomorrow. It feels like we are surrounded by people of different beliefs and opinions about life. Everywhere we go, from workplace to home to community, we find ourselves engulfed by what other people think, forcing us to push our true selves aside. We are all greatly influenced by the environment we are in. Our surroundings, situation, and professionalism all influence us. Let’s see some scenarios.

A few scenarios with why we feel, the way we feel and some potential solutions: 

Scenario 1: Shattered Heart

 You are deeply in love with someone. Until you are together, you feel like over the moon, but as soon as the person goes away from you, be it through death, divorce, infidelity, or another circumstance, you become completely crushed and disconnected.

I’m sure the more you adored someone, the more you felt like you had a thousand tiny needles jabbing into your heart all at once. I comprehend how difficult it is to handle the aching that filters through your body because of what’s happened to your heart.

Gathering your resources and inner strength seems daunting when you encounter a difficult period, but it passes with a little bit of perseverance. Don’t get discouraged – this too shall pass!

Let’s see what’s in there in the Positive outlook:

Can I throw a question out there? Do you love an individual, or do you love the emotions they invoke? Undisputedly, those emotions are interrelated to the individual. But don’t you agree that when you love, you really love? We certainly feel crestfallen when a person separates from us without warning. But have you noticed something? Particularly in circumstances such as breakups, it becomes evident that even when a year has passed and we are no longer together, we don’t get angry over things that we used to squabble about at first.

We frequently forget almost everything–the conflict, the quarrel–but there’s something that remains: the smile that appears whenever we recall the beautiful memories with the person. That tells us that the love is still alive, for love is not a feeling–feelings come and go, maybe even switching up every hour. The problem we often face is that we react swiftly on those emotions and wind up making matters worse than they need to be.

If you find yourself struggling to cope with something that your loved one has said, try to take a step back and motivate yourself with some upbeat Ted Talks. Take your time and don’t be reactive; allow your emotions to dissipate until you can discuss the situation clearly. Even if the outcome isn’t what you hope for, you can be certain that you did your best. 

Don’t see this as a defeat. You don’t need the one you love to be around in order to continue loving them. You can still love, even when you forgive the situation, the person, and more importantly, yourself. Once you come to the realization that in love there is only room for love and nothing else, you will no longer feel weighed down by the experience. 

If you’re looking for a better understanding, then I highly recommend you check out the blog I wrote called, “Happiness doesn’t come from outside, but from within”. In it, you’ll find a detailed analysis of how to get in touch with your internal source of happiness.

Scenario 2: Financial Hardship

You’ve devoted so much of your life to one company, pouring your passion, time, trust, and dedication into it. It may have felt like a second family to you, but one day you come home to a letter informing you that, due to external economic or business factors, you’re no longer needed. It must have felt like a real shock – we can understand how crushed you must be. It can be heartbreaking to feel like an orphan with no parents or family, like a deep-rooted emotional breakdown caused by detachment from one’s home.

Besides, there are plenty of additional inquiries surrounding you at that moment. Questions like,  how am I going to handle my monthly outgoings? how am I going to pay my rent? what will be the consequence of my regular mortgage payments? how do I pay for my kids’ school tuition fees? recently I bought the car; am I ready for the continuous car expenses? What do my family and friends think of me – and furthermore, I’m not sure how long it will take to get the new job, and it seems like your head is spinning in circles trying to think of an answer, right? 

What I can say to you is this: You don’t have to go through it alone, buddy. As I said before, nothing ever lasts forever – so this too shall pass with a bit of self-discipline and a positive attitude. Let’s figure out what we can do about it.

Let’s see what our cheerful attitude has to say about it: 

It’s definitely a good idea to take some of the pressure off yourself by writing down your thoughts. Psychologists through the years have advocated this approach as an effective way to manage overwhelming thoughts. By transferring those thoughts from your head onto paper, you release the pressure on your mind and can give yourself some peace of mind. 

Once you realize that you’re likely to be expelled, try to stay composed. Take a few deep breaths, and then tap into the incredible tool within yourself: your mind. Ask yourself, “If I can find ways to help this business continue to run, am I not capable of making a plan for my own life as well?”.

Remember our brain is very intelligent, if you ask intelligent questions to it, it will give you intelligent answers. As being mentioned by Dale Carnegie in his book “ How to stop worrying and start living”, “Whenever you’re facing trouble, embrace the worst-case scenario and then try to improve from there”. For instance, attempt to identify the potential downside of becoming unemployed. You may get into debt, lack a place to stay, not have a luxurious lifestyle, but the positive aspect is that you are still alive! Right? 

Once you realize that nothing is more important than your health and life, you will come to know that you always have the ability to start again. Don’t be frightened of losing possessions; rather, be fearful of losing your wellbeing. 

Regardless of what you choose to do, identify ways to leverage your strengths and past experiences to find great solutions. Have a chat with people you know and do some internet searches to see what other options are out there. Remember—No job is too small or too big, and there is no age limit when it comes to learning! Make the most of your time by keeping yourself occupied with meaningful activities.

Pen down all potential solutions that come to your mind in that moment and start to take steps forward from there. If nothing comes to your mind, try reading the book, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” from Dale Carnegie, an incredible author who has written about conquering anxiety.

Scenario 3: High Baggage of Study

You are a dedicated and focused student working hard to prepare for an entrance exam. It could be anything, such as the PTE/IELTS exams applied for by international students seeking a higher education qualification in a developed country, or seeking Permanent Residency in the same nation. Additionally, students in India often take civil service or government examinations, and need to go through the process repeatedly after each failure. 

When students invest a lot of hard work and still don’t pass their exams, they could feel disheartened, dejected, discouraged, and lacking in motivation. Some even commit suicide, thanks to the cumbersome load of study. All I can say is that this is not the end of the life. Life is much more than that. 

Let’s explore what’s hidden in there in our own potentials: 

You must have heard about Albert Einstein, one of the greatest and most influential physicists of all time. It is said the he made 1,000 attempts at the long-lasting lightbulb before it worked. When asked how it felt to fail 1,000 times, he is credited with saying “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.” 

What we got to learn here is that it’s all about how we take each failure. Are we reflecting and learning after every unsuccessful attempt and then taking a mindful step ahead? Or Are we just repeating the same process again without acknowledging where we stand? Learning out of failures is as crucial as taking the second attempt, if not more. You might realise that you haven’t been properly prioritizing your tasks. It might also be the case that your vocabulary, grammar, and typing or writing speed are at odds with the time limit you have set for yourself. You may even come to see that the same question can be answered by adding more examples to it. It’s always a great opportunity for learning when you take a step back and really look at things. Just don’t give up if that is what you really aiming for. 

Second perspective could be very different altogether. Here you are not interested in preparing or studying the particular examination, but you are still doing it because that call is coming from your parents, friends, or society. If that’s the case, my dearest friend, think of the day when you will have aced the exam and attained the position which you toiled so hard for, yet still you find yourself isolated from your true self. Don’t you wish you had taken a moment to pause and reflect and ask yourself if this is what you truly wanted? You know the answer.

I have seen so many good students who didn’t give up at all and they finally got it provided that they knew it for sure what they wanted all from their heart. 

On the flip side, if you look at Steve Paul Jobs, the CEO of Apple. You will know that it’s not the academic qualification sometimes, but your interests that speak to you louder. In one of his speech at Stanford university (search on YouTube- Steve Jobs’ 2005 Stanford Commencement Address), he said, “he dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before he really quit. So why did he drop out? Because he did not want to spend his parents’ money on an education that seemed meaningless to him. Instead, he was interested in attending classes on calligraphy. After 10 years later, when he was designing the first macintosh computer, it all came back to him. It was the first computer designed with typography.” From there on he kept growing. 

We’re all unique individuals with our own goals and aspirations. We are distinctive. Once you figure out what your true interests are, your true self, you’ll never want to look back. As being said by Albert Einstein, “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 

Scenario 4: Self-Imposed Stress

The tension I bring upon myself from day-to-day life. It takes many forms, like examining myself against those around me in terms of accomplishments, qualifications, renown, contentment, fellowship within their community, standing, notability, wealth, and the like. Seeing others better endowed with physical attractiveness, beauty, and shapes can also add to the equations. – a comparing mindset.

Things like, why it’s me only who has to understand everything, everyone, all the time. Why do I have to say sorry first, why not them? Finding faults in everything, everyone and almost everywhere. – a complaining mindset. 

Things like- making other person feel down by criticising them on small stuff such as making fun of their English, making fun of someone’s dressing sense, status, skills- in short a critique mindset. 

Dig in depth of good thoughts instead:

If you are engaging in one of the activities described above, knowingly or unknowingly, you are deteriorating your own thoughts. YES. Every single thing we think or express has direct impact on our thoughts. Thats why it’s being said “hear good, see good, speak good.” 

Try to suppress such emotions as comparing, complaining and criticising, if you have one and try to stay away from people who has one of these, as simple as that. If we can’t take all these, how can we even think of giving. 

Make life simple by simple living, adopting all good virtues. Life is as beautiful as you are!